1. Tennessee Titans: Back to their winning ways, but somebody should tell Chris Johnson that the end zone doesn’t start at the five yard line. My suggestion? DeSean Jackson. Last Week: 1

2. New York Giants: It was running that led the Giants to their 12th win of the season, but it’s going to take a whole lot more to make up for their inconsistent pass offense in the Playoffs. Like the receivers not shooting themselves. Last Week: 3

3. Pittsburgh Steelers: You can’t really ride them for losing to the Titans, but defensively, they looked rather out of sorts on Sunday. That can’t be heartening. Last Week: 2

4. Carolina Panthers: Another great game by Williams, but the Panthers just didn’t have what it took to overcome the Giants. They’ve got the makings of a team with a solid Playoff run in them, however. Last Week: 4

5. Indianapolis Colts: The Colts are used to playing meaningless games in December, but not with a Wild Card berth. So do you rest your starters now? Last Week: 5

6. Atlanta Falcons: It was a bit of a struggle, but the Falcons somehow managed to ground Adrian Peterson long enough to guarantee themselves at least a Wild Card, which is more than Michael Vick could say. Last Week: 6

7. New England Patriots: They made the Cardinals look bad, which, admittedly, isn’t that difficult to do lately. They still need some help to get into the Playoffs, but they’re doing their part. Last Week: 9

8. Miami Dolphins: The Fins are in the driver’s seat for the first time in forever, with either a Wild Card or the division potentially on the line. How will the young team react? Just remember: Laces out. Last Week: 10

9. New York Jets: I understand it was in the snow, but you could muster three points against the Seahawks? Really? Awful time for Brett to be giving Mike Holmgren a retirement gift. Last Week: 8

10. Dallas Cowboys: They lost again this week, but, in semi-comical fashion, managed to improve their playoff position. What is this, the BCS? Last Week: 11

11. Minnesota Vikings: For the sake of every Vikings fan in the world, I really, really hope that the team spends every minute of practice this week working on hanging onto the damn football. Last Week: 7

12. Arizona Cardinals: So…I guess they’re not particularly worried about improving their Playoff positioning, eh? Or maybe it’s an honor just to be nominated. Last Week: 12

13. Baltimore Ravens: Baltimore’s sort of a fascinating case study in that they have a solid defense, great running backs, a mid-range passing game, and yet, they’re still not able to get any production from anywhere when it counts. Last Week: 13

14. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: If the NFL films department needs an iconic image for this season, and doesn’t want to use Plaxico Burress limping into police custody, might I suggest Jeff Garcia gushing blood onto the field while wondering what happened to this season? Last Week: 14

15. Denver Broncos: After what looked like an inevitable West win, the Broncos are playing for their Playoff lives this week against the Chargers. It’s a good thing this team has a cadre of great running ba…Oh wait. Last Week: 15

16. Chicago Bears: Shockingly, the Bears are only a win and a Vikings loss from making the Playoffs. All that stands between them and their dreams are a Giants team that’s resting up and a Houston team that loves winning meaningless games. Last Week: 16

17. San Diego Chargers: Three weeks ago, they were doing the math on what draft position they’d be in. Now…they’re still doing it, but they’ve got a Playoff spot wrapped up if they can beat Denver. Last Week: 18

18. Philadelphia Eagles: To make the Playoffs, Philly needs to win, Dallas, Chicago, and Tampa to lose, the gates of Hades to open at exactly 7:00 p.m. (Mountain time) and Andy Reid needs to turn around eight times and say “Marv Levy” while looking into a mirror. I’m not kidding. This was in the NFL rule book. Last Week: 17

19. Houston Texans: A slight bump in the road on the Run at Futility tour prevented the Texans from finishing with a winning season. But that won’t stop them from trying to finish without a losing season this week. Last Week: 19

20. New Orleans Saints: If the NFL itself implodes, and eight teams in the NFC decide they didn’t want to make the Playoffs after all, I’m pretty sure that the Saints are still just playing to see if they can get Drew Brees over the NFL record for passing yards this week. Last Week: 20

21. Washington Redskins: It was nice of Jason Taylor to take time off from learning the Two Step and pretending to audition for acting roles to play in this week’s Redskins game. Last Week: 21

22. Buffalo Bills: The Bills finally won their 7th game this week, but it’s about five weeks too late. There’s plenty of talent in various places on this roster, but not in any of the right places for a playoff run. Last Week: 25

23. Green Bay Packers: Aaron Rodgers will never lose the label of “Not Brett Favre” now. Despite having better all-around numbers than Favre, Rodgers has had the bad luck of being the QB of a team with a shitty, shitty defense. Last Week: 23

24. San Francisco 49ers: The Niners are still playing hard, at least, which is more than I can say for most other teams right now. There’s a real sense that they’re playing for the future, which, funnily enough, means they should be trying to lose more so they can draft a player that’s any good. Last Week: 24

25. Jacksonville Jaguars: The Jaguars are pretty much just nonsense this year. I don’t even have a specific comment about them. They’re just nonsense. Last Week: 22

26. Cincinnati Bengals: They managed one offensive touchdown in Sunday’s game, which is practically a record this year. Way to turn it on to close the season, guys. Last Week: 27

27. Seattle Seahawks: One last win for Mike Holmgren, in the snow in Seattle. There’s not much hope they’ll be good next season, but it was a nice way to help close out a career. Last Week: 28

28. Cleveland Browns: Romeo Crennel says that he’s preparing for next season as though he’ll be the Browns Head Coach. That’s funnier than anything else that I could write here. Last Week: 26

29. Kansas City Chiefs: What a disappointing season, in which the Chiefs finally found an offense at the end of the year, but are still struggling to find a defense, special teams, coaching, and talent.Last Week: 29

30. Oakland Raiders: Tom Cable said this week that he believes JaMarcus Russell has turned the corner. Like, what? Turned the corner and slammed into a wall? Last Week: 29

31. Saint Louis Rams: I’m trying to think of something nice to say about the Rams this season, but I’ve really got nothing. They’re not even bad enough to get the number one pick in the draft. Last Week: 31

32. Detroit Lions: Racing toward history! 0-15! One more loss to go! Who will out suck the others? Packers vs. Lions! TODAY ON FOX! Last Week: 32