1. Not World of Warcraft? Cancelled. EA’s much hyped MMO All Points Bulletin was released to a somewhat tepid response back in June. And now? It’s going offline for good. I guess if nobody buys or plays your $100 million budge MMO, it won’t even last four months these days. It’s much vaunted character creation tool is pretty incredible, actually, but the rest? Yeah….

2. Halo Is Still Around. Halo: Reach sold $200 million in copies this past week, and its online portion blew Halo 3′s past record for most concurrent players by a mile. I’m excited for Bungie’s next game which is…uh…a sequel to Bubsy? I don’t know.

3. Some Lady Used to Be a Witch. News At Eleven. Christine O’Donnell noted “new Sarah Palin” and member of the Tea Party movement admitted to Bill Maher in 1999 that she dated some Pagans back in the day, and had really awful hair. Why anybody cares? I’m not so sure. Just as long as she didn’t conjure up any intelligent mice.

4. What Rhymes With Jeter? All Around Good Guy Derek Jeter came under fire this week. Why? Because he finally realized that he’s a member of the New York Yankees. Jeter fouled a ball off the knob of his bat, and proceeded to jump around like a moron until the umpire awarded him first base. Next he’s going to take slapping lessons from A-Rod.

5. Steve Jobs Has Literally Nothing Better to Do. College Student Chelsea Isaacs jokingly sent an e-mail to Apple’s Steve Jobs asking that he pass word to Apple’s media relations department to give her a quote for a story she was writing for journalism class. Jobs actually responded, basically saying, “Shut up and go buy an iPad.” Oh that Apple. So consumer friendly!