1. Green Bay Packers
Oh my gosh! The Packers lost!
What is happening?
Last Week: 1

2. New Orleans Saints
The Saints gain ground,
Will the fat lady sing?
Last Week: 3

3. San Francisco 49ers
The Niners may win more games,
If they just turn on the lights,
Last Week: 5

4. New England Patriots:
Tom Brady fought Giselle this week,
Over who looks better in tights.
Last Week: 6

5. Baltimore Ravens
The Ravens can’t seem to win,
When their opponents are bad,
Last Week: 2

6. Pittsburgh Steelers
If Big Ben could just stay healthy,
The Steelers fans would be glad.
Last Week: 4

7. Houston Texans
Hangover loses are easy to shake,
When you’re already locked in,
Last Week: 7

8. Atlanta Falcons
Matt Ryan plays much better,
When his foot isn’t in his shin.
Last Week: 9

9. Detroit Lions
A Lions playoff is all but locked,
As long as they stay afloat,
Last Week: 11

10. Denver Broncos
Tim Tebow needs to calm the waves,
Of this suddenly rocky boat.
Last Week: 8

11. New York Jets
Quit throwing the ball away,
Or Rex Ryan will just pout,
Last Week: 10

12. Dallas Cowboys
Games are easier to win,
When they don’t hinge on a time out.
Last Week: 14

13. Cincinnati Bengals
The Jets playoffs hopes leave them cold,
Just wanting to be winners,
Last Week: 15

14. New York Giants
They still control their own fate,
But they’re less Saints than sinners.
Last Week: 13

15. Tennessee Titans:
Chris Johnson took another nap,
He’s not really one of the elite,
Last Week: 12

16. Oakland Raiders
The Raiders manage once again,
To turn sure victory into defeat.
Last Week: 16

17. San Diego Chargers:
They’re just waiting for Norv,
To somehow screw this thing up,
Last Week: 17

18. Philadelphia Eagles
The Eagles winning the East,
Would be more funny than Kobe’s pre-nup.
Last Week: 23

19. Seattle Seahawks
Tarvaris has seemingly turned it on,
A little too late for that correction.
Last Week: 20

20. Arizona Cardinals
The Cardinals are finally riding high,
On the John Skelton connection.
Last Week: 20

21. Chicago Bears
Caleb Hanie just looks sad,
Cheer up little, buddy!
Last Week: 18

22. Buffalo Bills
At least you don’t look like the Bills,
What a bunch of stupid dummies!
Last Week: 19

23. Kansas City Chiefs
Alcohol fuel will power them through,
With Kyle Orton, the Legend Killer,
Last Week: 24

24. Miami Dolphins
Reggie Bush is looking more himself,
Than a discount C.J. Spiller.
Last Week: 23

25. Carolina Panthers
Is it too late to restart the season,
Cam Newton’s turned the team around,
Last Week: 25

26. Washington Redskins
Sadly, it looks like Sexy Rexy,
Finally drove his dragon into the ground.
Last Week: 26

27. Jacksonville Jaguars
I feel bad for poor Blaine Gabbert,
He just looks like he’s scared,
Last Week: 26

28. Cleveland Browns
Maybe he’s just been watching Colt,
Not like any Browns staff cared.
Last Week: 29

29. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Probably won’t win another game,
In this season or the next,
Last Week: 29

30. Minnesota Vikings
For them to fall this far this fast,
I’m pretty sure they’ve been hexed.
Last Week: 30

31. Saint Louis Rams
So close to over taking the lead,
Can they get Andrew Luck?
Last Week: 31

32. Indianapolis Colts
What a weird and stupid time,
For this team not to suck.
Last Week: 32