Archive for January 2012

The Old Republic: Jedi Knight

January 27, 2012 Star Wars One comment

Class Lore: Jedi Knights are soldiers, diplomats, and the Republic’s only true defense against the Sith. Armed with lightsabers and the Force, the Jedi follow a strict moral code to defend the defenseless and attempt to bring peace to the galaxy.

Now, however, the Jedi Order is somewhat in shambles. The Sith Empire’s attack on Coruscant destroyed the Jedi Temple and scattered the Council. With their numbers dwindled and the Republic leaning on them more than ever, the Jedi are falling apart at the seams.

The Story So Far: You land on Tython to complete your Jedi training only to find the order in disarray. Something is causing the nearby Flesh Raiders to attack the training grounds. You join the other Padawans in an attempt to re-secure the area and find out what is causing the sudden upsurge in violence.

Advanced Classes:

Guardian: The bastion of peace. Guardian Knights are trained in the art of defense, making them nearly invulnerable on the battlefield. This selection includes tanking and DPS trees.

Sentinel: The Jedi Order’s combat troops. Armed with two lightsabers, they are built to duel and destroy their enemies among the Sith. This selection has only DPS trees.

Sith Mirror Class: Sith Warrior

Starship: Defender

World of Warcraft Wednesday: Trial of the Crusader

January 25, 2012 World of Warcraft No comments

Lore:

Oh man! That Argent Tournament is still going on! Should we…go check in on that? Crap. I suppose we should. After all, how are we going to decide who gets to take on Arthas if we don’t know who to send to kill him?

And we get back just in time for the main event, when we fight a bunch of beasts and demons trapped just for us to fight. And the champions of the other team for the honor of our King/Warchief. I’m so excited! I just hope Arthas doesn’t find out about this.

Degree of Difficulty: Medium

There’s no trash to speak of, so let’s get right into the bosses:

Gormok: A magnataur who has a bunch of adds and a stun. It’s the DPS’s job to get rid of all the snobolds and their bombs.

Acidmaw and Dreadscale: Two jormungars. Acidmaw spits acid (really?) and Dreadscale spits fire.

Icehowl: A wendingo. He’s got a lot of heavy damage attacks including an AoE and a freezing spray.

Lord Jaraxxus: The Eradar (demonic draenei cousins) who is summoned by a warlock and then goes out of control. He can hit you with AoE, DoTs, regular old Fel Damage, summon an add, and soak up your healing spells.

Faction Champions: In a PvPesque fight, you’ll take on a member of each class and race of the opposite faction. It is a curious (and sort of awesome) fight in that the battle is pretty much just a brawl between your raid and the mobs (no threat) and that Resilience (the PvP gear stat) is factored in, so you should be in PvP gear.

Eysdis Darkbane and Fjola Lightbane: Two valkyr who control opposite elements of light and dark. They have the same healthbar. You have to use portals to give yourself a buff to protect yourself against their respective powers. And they can shield each other.

Anub’arak: You thought you killed him Azjol-Nerub?! THAT WAS JUST A SETBACK! Now he’s digging under the tournament grounds so that he can make you all fall into a sink hole, and why did we all gather in one place on Arthas’ doorstep again? Anyway, in phase one he’ll hit you with ice attacks. In phase two he burrows and chases you around (summoning adds in between). In phase three he summons a bunch of adds that suck out your health and give it to Anub.

Special Features:

The heroic version of this instance is called “Trial of the Grand Crusader” but is otherwise the same. An epic ground mount drops upon completion of the Trial of the Grand Crusader portion of the instance.

Recommended for Levels: 80-85

The Trial of the Crusader is an instance that got a bit of a bad rap. After all, there’s not really much to it, and ultimately, if you’re good enough to get past Ulduar, you were good enough to get to Icecrown, so why not skip the formality?

But there’s a little bit to love here, what with the mount, the badges (for mounts and pets in the Argent Crusade stores) and the fun and different PvP battle. But not a lot of people feel the same way I do, so you’ll probably have a lot of difficulty getting a group together these days.

YouTube: No Blizzcon, No Problem?

January 25, 2012 World of Warcraft, YouTube No comments

I’m having serious Blizzcon withdrawls already, and it’s not even October. Why? Because stupid Blizzard announced that they weren’t holding the event next year because of some stupid “schedule” that says that they’re “releasing” three “games” next year.

Blizzard, please.

Chris Metzen just doesn’t want to have to buy me another drink this year. Anyway, I’m Con-less for the first time in a long time, and I’m trying to decide where to go this year. PAX East is out of the question, but I’ll have to figure out one of the others.

Any suggestions? E-mail me at RawSatire at Hotmail.com

In the meantime, let’s travel back in time with Pico to last year’s Blizzcon. Ah the memories.

YouTube Monday: Celebrity Dads

January 24, 2012 American Idol, YouTube No comments

Jim Carey’s daughter appeared on American Idol this week. It’s nice to see that she’s not using her celebrity father to steal a music deal before she’s ready.

On the other hand…She’s going to reality TV to help her. Which is worse, really. She needs to hire Liv Tyler as her life coach.

Still, she wasn’t horrible, and Hock Show’s Idol Season is coming up quickly, so here’s a sneak peak at what’s going on this season.

Hock Show Weekend Top Five for January 15th – 21st, 2012

January 24, 2012 Weekend Top Five No comments

1. Joe Paterno Died. It’s sad that the guy’s nine billion year career ended with two months of another dude’s gross habits. But there it is. Goodbye, JoePa! I guess you really couldn’t live without football.

2. That SOPA Thing Sure Was Something. It’s not often that the Internet goes nuts and rallies around one cause, but threaten to shut down our ability to download free crap and everybody gets up in arms. Life can not go on without Wikipedia.

3. The Superbowl Is Set. The New York Giants will be taking on the New England Patriots in the least interesting Superbowl in history. I really wish that literally anybody else would have made the game. But here we are, and it’s awful. We’ve got two weeks, let’s bunker down and deal with it.

4. UFC Guys Either Get Paid Well or Possibly They Don’t. ESPN gave a report earlier this week that said that UFC fighters were basically living hand to mouth and that only the top stars had any sizable contracts. Dana White, of course, said that wasn’t true. Top UFC fighters have been rendered unable to comment.

5. Red Tails Is a Movie. Red Tails opened this weekend. It’s an inspirational story about the Tuskegee Airmen, the nation’s first all black fighter squadron. The film was fully funded by George Lucas after every major Hollywood studio passed on the film, stating “We don’t think Jar-Jar Binks was around during World War 2.”

The Old Republic: Troopers

January 20, 2012 Star Wars One comment

Class Lore: The Trooper is the frontline soldier of the Galactic Republic. They’re usually divided into command, assault specialists, field medics, technicians, and demolition specialists. Not every unit will have each of these troops, but all of the Republic’s army is fit to fight in multiple situations against all different kinds of foes.

Still, the war against the Sith Empire has left the Republic’s corps spread thin, and threat of a future war looming on the horizon hasn’t exactly improved morale.

The Story So Far: Your trooper lands on Ord Mantell as a Sergeant recruited by the Republic to join special forces group Havok Squad. However, things on Ord Mantell aren’t all they seem.

Advanced Classes:

Vanguard: Battle ready protectors of the citizens of the Republic. They are equipped with shield generators and serve almost as military police. This selection includes tanking and DPS trees.

Commando: Standard republic ground troops, they represent the front line of the Republic’s war against the Sith and rebel forces popping up throughout the galaxy. This selection has healing and DPS trees.

Sith Mirror Class: Bounty Hunter

Starship: BT-7 Thunderclap

World of Warcraft Wednesday: Ulduar

January 18, 2012 World of Warcraft No comments

Lore:

So we’re taking on Arthas and the Blue Dragonflight and…wait…what’s that? There’s an Old God here too? With mouths everywhere and cultists running around killing everybody’s armies?

Well, whatever. We’ve banished one Old God, so it’s no big…wait. Yogg’Saron?! As in…Saronite?! As in the armor we’re all wearing is made out of his dried blood. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Degree of Difficulty: Hard

There’s a ton of trash, and none of it is really worth talking about. Just know going in that Ulduar is an old school instance that will likely take you several hours to crawl through, and all those hours will be filled with trash.

As for bosses, here’s a brief look:

Flame Leviathan: Unique in that you will fight this tank entirely as vehicles. He’ll charge one vehicle, and the others DPS it down.

Ignis: A giant with lots of ads and all kinds of fire damage (he’s skippable)

Razorscale: A proto-drake who also shoots fire everywhere and has adds.

XT-002 Deconstructor: A robot that just wants to play :(

The Assembly of Iron: Steelbreaker (a giant), Brundir (an iron dwarf), and Molgeim (a vykrul) who all get progressively stronger as you kill the others. Killing Steelbreaker last engages the hardmode of this fight.

Kologarn: Is a construct whose arms have to be knocked off.

Auriaya: A Titan Watcher that is sort of optional and has lots of adds.

Mimiron: A clockwork gnome who fights in four different vehicles throughout the fight. The Leviathan, the Antipersonnell Cannon, the Aerial Command Unit, and the V-07-TR-0n. All fights require massive healing, pushing the red button before the fight initiates hardmode. Mimiron has a small chance to drop his head (a mount).

Freya: A Titan watcher who has a ton of adds and AoE.

Thorim: A Titan watcher with lots of adds (see a pattern yet?) and a bunch of lighting damage.

Hodir: A Titan watcher with frost damages that can freeze party members and adds (that actually help you if you free them!)

General Vezax: A faceless and the second to last boss of the instance. Drops a lot of AoE including Saronite crystals that will kill you (but restore your mana) and stack forever.

Yogg-Saron: The Old God, who fights in three phases. First as Sara, who can only be killed by killing her adds near her. Then by killing the brain and tentacles. He’ll spawn portals, which one player (per portal) must enter, usually melee DPS. At phase 3 it’s just a race to kill Yoggy.

Special Features:

Lots. There’s the vehicle section, the mount, hardmodes, and lots of optional stuff. If you leave up the watchers, the Yogg-Saron fight is much, much harder but in 25 man he may drop the legendary hammer Val’anyr (which you also must forge during a fight with Yogg-Saron). Additionally, there’s a completely optional hardmode fight after Yogg-Saron, a particularly difficult encounter with Alganon the Observer.

Recommended for Levels: 80-85

A lot of people love Ulduar, and there’s a lot here to love. There is an encounter for just about every type of player in the game, the environments are all pretty fun and good looking, and there’s just a lot going on here.

It’s still a popular instance that is a bit easier, but still provides a challenge for groups looking to get in on some achievements, mount, legendary, and whatnot. So yeah, I think you should do this instance if you can get a group together for it.

Hock Show NFL Championship Game Predictions

January 18, 2012 NFL No comments

Baltimore Ravens vs. New England Patriots

Why Baltimore Will Win: Somebody woke the Ravens defense up from their nap last week, and they played fantastic. The last time that happened in the Playoffs? They beat the crap out of the Patriots.

Why Baltimore Will Lose: Joe Flacco’s regressed so much that even his teammates are starting to turn on him, which is never a recipe for success. Ray Rice seems to be more interested in falling over than running.

Why New England Will Win: They proved last week that you just can’t cover both their tight ends on any given play. Nobody gameplans for revenge better than Bill Belichick.

Why New England Will Lose: Even though they didn’t have much chance to show it, their defense really sucks. They have no running game either, which will allow the Ravens to put a lot of pressure on Brady.

Prediction: Baltimore 28, New England 27

The smart money is on New England, but Baltimore really does just seem to have their number. Flacco and Rice will be motivated to fire back this week, and if Baltimore gets a chance to tee off on Brady, things could get ugly fast.

New York Giants vs. San Francisco 49ers

Why New York Will Win: They showed last week that they can gameplan circles around anybody, and San Francisco is not nearly as well stocked as Green Bay. Manning is on fire and has a good running game behind him.

Why New York Will Lose: They expended so much last week that playing against the 49ers this week must be a little bit of a let down. Both Eli and their secondary get on long, rough cold streaks.

Why San Francisco Will Win: Vernon Davis has really emerged as a beast of late and will keep getting the ball. Frank Gore is an elite back. The defense is capable of being spectacular.

Why San Francisco Will Lose: The defense also gave up a lot of points and yards to the Saints. They, too, might be spent after an emotional win. The 49ers haven’t gotten much production out of their receivers.

Prediction: San Francisco 24, New York 20

Again, I’m going against what seems to be popular thought here, primarily because I think the 49ers are just the better overall team. Defensively (unlike the Packers) they should be able to contain the Giants offense, and there isn’t a linebacker on the Giants that can keep up with Vernon Davis in coverage.

YouTube Monday: Tebow Makes His Move

January 16, 2012 Uncategorized No comments

As I pointed out in the Weekend Top Five, Aaron Rodgers somehow psychically convinced Miss America Laura Whatsherface to ask him on a date on live national television. Meanwhile, Tim Tebow was suffering the arrows of defeat against the New England Patriots.

But I think Tebow’s going to be ok. After all, he is going for a more grass-roots appeal. Such as some random girl asking him on a date over YouTube.

So…Point to Minnesota, I guess.

Hock Show Weekend Top Five for January 8th – 14th, 2012

January 16, 2012 Weekend Top Five No comments

1. Hostess Goes Bankrupt. How the Twinkies maker went bankrupt, nobody knows. But, sure enough, they did. Apparently, there are just too man cupcakes out there for one man to eat.

2. Awards Season Kicks Off. The tamed down to the point of being boring Ricky Gervais versus the awkward deer-in-the-headlights Peoples Choice Awards. Well, neither means anything in Hollywood, so I guess it doesn’t really mean anything except to expect more self-aggrandizing back patting in the weeks to come.

3. Nobody Wants to See Bosom Buddies without Tom Hanks. ABC cancelled its controversial sitcom “Work It” after just two weeks, citing the fact that even they didn’t know why a TV show about two guys dressing as women to get a job made it to TV after the 1980s.

4. Rupert Murdoch Hasn’t Got the Hang of Twitter. When you’re complaining about things like people protesting against SOPA, you probably could find a better audience than the Internet. But then Rupert Murdoch has never really seemed very New Media savvy. I’ll make sure to log into my MySpace and message him about this.

5. Miss Wisconsin Just Wants a Date. Or should I say, Miss America. Yes, somehow someone from the Dairy State took home the crown of Miss America this week, as Laura Kaeppeler won the crown and saved us from ever having to pronounce her last name. Kaeppeler used her newfound platform to wish for peace in the middle east, food for starving children everywhere, and a date with Aaron Rodgers (who then proceeded to discount doublecheck himself out of the playoffs). Your move, Tebow.

« Older Entries