1. Here’s The Super Bowl. I really don’t care about the Giants or the Patriots, but at least it was a really good game. What’d I take out of this game? CeeLo and his Jedi Choir were finally able to slay Madonna. MIA doesn’t care. And Giselle is a better coach than Bill Belichick.
2. Speaking of the Super Bowl…. The ADS! That’s why we really watch the game. The winners? Doritos serial murdering dog, The Avengers, Audis kill vampires, I guess? The worst? That stupid eTrade baby, all the Go Daddy Stuff (aren’t we over that yet?), and those sad Coke bears. The three most overworked sets of mascots in the business. Not to mention all the naked people flying around.
3. Atlantis Wasn’t. It turns out that “Atlantis” that showed up a few months ago on Google Oceans (yes, there is a Google Oceans) was “(A)ctually just a sonar echo that hadn’t been cleaned up by University of California – San Diego students yet,” said an unidentified Bigfoot performing an alien autopsy on the grassy knoll.
4. England Doesn’t Get SNL. The number one album in the United Kingdom this week was Lana Del Ray’s “Born To Die”. Proving that the Brits will buy anything so long as it sounds like Adele if you squint a lot and sings a song about video games. Even though it wasn’t really about video games. Maybe they just love collagen.
5. Never Write a “Mass Effect” Novel. The new Mass Effect novel “Deception” by William Dietz spawned a 400 page thread and 8 page document pointing out dozens of continuity errors between the books and the games. Now it’s hard to get everything right in a universe you’ve never written about. Doubly so if it has as many divergent paths as the Mass Effect Universe. But these are just basic things that a glance at the series bible would have told him. Del Ray books and Bioware are already working on an edited second edition.