As I pointed out in the Weekend Top Five, Aaron Rodgers somehow psychically convinced Miss America Laura Whatsherface to ask him on a date on live national television. Meanwhile, Tim Tebow was suffering the arrows of defeat against the New England Patriots.

But I think Tebow’s going to be ok. After all, he is going for a more grass-roots appeal. Such as some random girl asking him on a date over YouTube.

So…Point to Minnesota, I guess.

Cincinnati Bengals vs. Houston Texans

Why Cincinnati Will Win: They’re the team with the least to lose in this playoffs. Andy Dalton and A.J. Green are coming in with no expectations and a lot of talent.

Why Cincinnati Will Lose: It is a high pressure situation, and these guys are mostly unproven. They don’t have a stellar record against winning teams.

Why Houston Will Win: They’ve suffered through injuries to their starting quarterback and top wide reciever, amongst others, and done well. T.J. Yates has thrived in the system and it looks like he’ll play as will Andre Johnson.

Why Houston Will Lose: Their success this year has a lot to do with their division falling apart. As talented as their second string has proven this year, it’s hard to believe they can keep it up forever.

Prediction: Houston 31, Cincinnati 28

Two evenly matched teams who took advantage of good situations to secure unexpected playoff berths. Homefield advantage gives a very slight edge to the Texans.

Detroit Lions vs. New Orleans Saints

Why Detroit Will Win: Both their offenses and defense are explosive. They play great on turf, which is well suited even for an away game in the Superdome.

Why Detroit Will Lose: Their high octane team is often conditional, as this defense will get burned trying to make plays, and Stafford is mistake prone. Their running game is very suspect.

Why New Orleans Will Win: Quite simply because Drew Brees has been lights out this year. Their running backs and defense are just good enough to let him run up points.

Why New Orleans Will Lose: As good as they’ve been this year, they’ve occasionally looked just dreadful, and it’s hard to trust any team that got blown out by the 3-13 Rams to win in the Playoffs.

Prediction: New Orleans 38, Detroit 30

I expect this one to be a shootout that goes down to the wire, but ultimately, the Saints are just a more complete team than Detroit and will pick up the win here.

Atlanta Falcons vs. New York Giants

Why Atlanta Will Win: They did a really good job this year of playing up to the caliber of their opponents, especially down the stretch. They have a lot of talent on offense.

Why Atlanta Will Lose: Matt Ryan and the defense have taken a lot of unnecessary risks this year. They also seem to consistently play poorly when their opponents are playing poorly.

Why New York Will Win: In a lot of other years, Eli Manning would be under serious consideration for the MVP. Victor Cruz has emerged as a playmaker.

Why New York Will Lose: Injuries have killed their defense. Their secondary is very exploitable.

Prediction: Atlanta 24, New York 13

Atlanta can score on this defense, especially if they ride the Michael Turner train and get Julio Jones and Roddy White open. It’d be hard to see New York winning, even at home.

Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Denver Broncos

Why Pittsburgh Will Win: Big Ben has made a career out of winning big post season games, and it seems the worse he’s hurt, the better he does.

Why Pittsburgh Will Lose: Ben might not even be able to play, and they’re already minus their top running back and corner, and there’s not tons of depth here.

Why Denver Will Win: Their defense will be able to keep it close against a sluggish Steelers offense, and the Broncos specialize on winning games by a field goal.

Why Denver Will Lose: Teams have pretty much proven that if you can get after Tebow, the Broncos have no offense. McGahee looks worn out.

Prediction: Pittsburgh 17, Denver 9

It’s just too hard to believe that Denver will be able to pull this one off, whether Ben plays or not. They just seem too worn down by the way their season slid to an end. There just aren’t enough field goal opportunities for them here.

1. Happy Thanksgiving! We live in a world where an 30 year old Charlie Brown cartoon beat out Lady Gaga in the ratings, and I’m very thankful for that this year.

2. Happy Birthday! I turned 31 this year. Cash and cake considerations can be forwarded to me at this address.

3. The NBA Is Still Around. The NBA’s Players Association finally caved to a deal that offers them almost nothing that they wanted in exchange for a 66 day season and a 5-6 hour marriage to Kim Kardassian for each player with 5 years of service or more.

4. People Dying for Deals. It’s Black Frida again, time for all kinds of stories about people getting killed over and trampled for 10% off TVs. Join us next week when 10,000 laptops will be crushed for a $5 Amazon Gift Card.

5. So This Is Football. Ndomakong Suh got suspended for stomping some dude because he was too fat to get up. Jason Witten totally grabbed that cheerleader’s butt. And then the 49ers took a trip back in time and played like it was 2010. I love Thanksgiving.

The second game in the TellTale Wallace and Grommit series starts with a bit of a whimper. Rain and a leaky basement have canceled the titular duo’s vacation plans, so Wallace decides to turn their house into a resort locale for the townsfolk. Once people start showing up, however, the game really picks up.

The pace and overall flow of “Last Resort” is much smoother and more engaging than “Fright of the Bumblebees.” The story actually has a nice, natural flow, and as the player, you can better chart your progression through the story, even through the non-linear bits, a problem that “Fright” couldn’t seem to solve in the third act. And though the Whodunit isn’t all that interesting by itself, it leads to some of Telltale’s classic humor that translated very well in Sam and Max and the Dangeresque episode of Strong Bad. There is only a point or two throughout the whole story where I thought things got derailed by a poor puzzle or lame plot.

A lot of the same problems pop up again in Episode 2, however. The X-Box control scheme still doesn’t have the same fluidity of the keyboard and mouse, and unfortunately, the PC version really suffers for it. The mouse controls are difficult and nearly useless, and controlling Wallace or Grommit with the keypad feels clumsy. Also, the extended sequences in which you play as Grommit still don’t feel quite right. The mute PC doesn’t really work for this type of game, as Grommit really isn’t able to provide players feedback on puzzles and he’s very limited in his ability to interact with other characters.

Extra Features:

Only a preview of the next episode is included. The mystery story has a boatload of optional dialog and actions, but once you see it, you’ve pretty much exhausted all Wallace and Grommit have to offer.

Technical:

The review build of the game was again very buggy. The audio especially had a difficult time syncing and would at times fall way behind the action on-screen. Also, there were a few really odd graphical glitches where characters would get trapped in odd loops or not perform actions that the scene dictated they should. TellTale is usually great about patching these things up for retail, however.

Graphics:

One thing I noticed this time out, and it’s actually kind of interesting, that they’ve translated some of the flaws in the clay models into the game. It’s a little thing that you probably won’t notice unless you’re obsessive like me, but the characters have slight cracks and dents just like their clay counterparts. It’s actually kind of cool, and something that I really didn’t expect.

Though most of the locales in “Resort” get a big makeover, there’s actually not a whole lot of new content here. The living room that was walled off last game is accessible now, though it pretty much just serves to spread the action out a bit more. Also, for whatever it’s worth, they changed a lot of the camera angles for the rooms they used in “Fright” for this game.

Sound:

The dialog seems much sharper here, except in a few cases. Wallace has a much better script this time out, and the voice actor does a fine job of delivering it with the right amount of whimsy, though it’s a little hard to take the game seriously when Wallace doesn’t seem to have a sense of urgency about any of his tasks. The townsfolk are a bit of a rollercoaster, as some don’t have the same punch as they did last game. Mrs. Gabberly and Mr. Paneer, for example, are given much bigger roles, but don’t fill them out particularly well. It should be noted, however, that everyone is quite excellent during the “Clue” sequences.

The music is solid, as usual, but melts into the background a bit too much to be called “good.” I realize that it’s a bit player, but the music in games like Monkey Island and even Sam and Max were always so good, that you couldn’t help but enjoy them as much as the rest of the game. There’s actually a portion of the game where you can change the theme that’s playing to help solve a puzzle, which is a nice touch and the only point where the ambient sound is even noticeable.

Replay Value:

You might want to play through the investigation a few times, just to get a few extra chuckles out of the extraneous dialog, but there’s not much other reason to revisit. If you have a choice between the two, however, I think it might be worth it to try the X-Box demo to see if you have an easier time adjusting to the controls.

Final Score: 7.5/10

I think TellTale had a better feel for Wallace and Grommit this time out. The script was much stronger and tighter, and while the puzzles didn’t really fit the world better, they were more entertaining and found a better balance between being challenging and impossible. While I’m still not sold on the Grommit PC scenes, at least by himself, I don’t think they ruin the experience at all.

Overall, “Last Resort” is a much better introduction to the series than “Fright of the Bumblebees” was. While “Fright” seemed to be about throwing as many ideas at the wall as they could come up with and seeing what stuck, “Resort” is a little more reserved and focused on getting the player to have fun, which is what Wallance and Grommit should really be all about.

If you’re interested in taking a look at the game, you can download a copy of the PC Demo at the TellTale Website.

1. Detroit Lions

Matthew Stafford, QB, Georgia

Pros: The Lions desperately need an identity, and while a defensive lineman or offensive tackle would probably be a better choice, Matt Stafford is exactly the kind of pick they need to make to show they’re serious about rebuilding this team. Stafford has a great arm, and more importantly, I think he’ll be able to weather the inevitable storm of being on a very poor Lions team as they build around him.

Cons: Like Jay Cutler (or Bret Favre before him), Stafford has way too much faith in his arm. Now that might not be such a bad thing with Calvin Johnson lining up at receiver, but that “Nobody’s open, so I’m going deep” mentality only gets you so far in the NFL, especially when you don’t have a defense that can save you.

Overall, I think Stafford isn’t really the pick the Lions should make, but it’s the one they *need* to make, if for no other reason than so they can begin to figure out their offense.

2. St. Louis Rams

Jason Smith, OT, Baylor

Pros: For a guy of his size, Smith has incredibly quick feet. He’s great on screens and lateral runs, and can match up very well one-on-one with a good defensive end or blitzing linebacker. Never gives up on a block.

Cons: His technique is mediocre, at best. In college he could rely on his physical ability to drive guys out of plays, but he’s not going to match up well against the Jared Allens or Julius Peppers of the NFL. It’s something a guy can learn, but his first 2-3 seasons are going to have a high learning curve.

The departure of Orlando Pace makes finding a LT the top priority for the Rams in this draft, and there’s a lot to like about Jason Smith. He’s a day one starter, for sure, but he’s going to have to do a lot of on the job training this season.

3. Kansas City Chiefs

Aaron Curry, LB, Wake Forrest

Pros: Curry may be the most talented player in the draft, and the most ready to play NFL style defense coming out of college. He’s smart, a great tackler, and he’s the kind of guy you want playing the run in a blitz-heavy, 3-4 scheme, like the one that the Chiefs are getting ready to implement this year.

Cons: The biggest knock against Curry is that he’s not a good coverage guy. For whatever reason, he’s fine in pursuit, but he has trouble staying with TEs and backs in routes. That’s trouble playing San Diego, Oakland, and Denver, which all figure to use their backs and tight ends as receivers a lot this year.

The Chief’s linebacking corps is either extremely mediocre or, in the cases of Zach Thomas and Mike Vrable, ancient. Curry is the perfect addition to build a 3-4 pass rush around, so long as the other guys can protect him in the passing game.

4. Seattle Seahawks

Eugene Monroe, OT, Virginia

Pros: Monroe is a physical specimen, and has all the physical tools to succeed as a tackle in the NFL. He’s got big legs and great arms, which allow him to encompass and stand up big DEs. He’s also got good technique.

Cons: Put simply, he’s a bit slow. He doesn’t explode off the ball, and will sometimes be beat off the snap before he even pulls out of his stance. Occasionally he’ll try to overpower guys rather than use his technique to beat them, and a smart DE will be able to slide around him.

This is the first reach of the draft, but it’s an understandable one. Seattle has poured a ton of money into their offense, only to have their Matt Hasselbeck injured or on his back on far too many snaps. If they can motivate Monroe, he’ll be great, if not, he’ll be a bust.

5. Cleveland Browns

Michael Crabtree, WR, Texas Tech

Pros: Fantastic hands, he’ll catch literally anything thrown in his general direction. Extraordinary vision and control, allowing him to make moves in any portion of the field. Great burst off the line of scrimmage, and at 6’2”, 200lbs he will not get pushed off the ball by a corner.

Cons: He has too much faith in his ability some times, which makes him a little lax in trying to shed coverage.

He might be a steal at number five, believe it or not. Michael Crabtree is a dynamic receiver who will instantly make Brady Quinn or Derek Anderson look a million times better than Braylon Edwards did last year. This is a must choose pick if Edwards is traded this week.

6. Cincinnati Bengals

Andre Smith, OT, Alabama

Pros: He’s a huge bruising lineman who can push most DEs around with ease. He may be the best pure run blocker in the draft. At 348 pounds, you might think he needs to cut back on his weight, but there’s a lot of muscle mass in there.

Cons: Smith doesn’t seem terribly interested in playing NFL football. He ran into legal trouble at Alabama, didn’t bother to show up for the Combine, and half-assed his Pro Day. At 348lbs, he’s…not the fastest guy on the field.

The Bengals also have a pressing need at running back, but they have zero starting tackles on their roster right now. Smith has all the makings of a bust, but legal trouble and immaturity has never scared the Bengals away from picking up a player.

7. Oakland Raiders

Brian Orakpo, DE, Texas

Pros: Orakpo’s an extraordinary athlete who can be an elite rusher from the edge. I think he has the skills to be a good DE or pass-rushing LB in a 3-4. He’s also a pretty good run defender in stacked sets, with pretty good lateral movement.

Cons: He missed a lot of time with a knee injury last year, which is a huge issue for a guy who plays as fast as Orakpo does. He doesn’t have the size to compete directly with NFL sized offensive tackles. He’s better in workouts than he was on the field at times.

Al Davis loves him some workout warriors, and Orakpo put up the kind of numbers Al likes to see. The difference between what Al usually gets is that Orakpo has the skills to be a difference maker on defense. If he can stay healthy, that is, which is a big if.

8. Jacksonville Jaguars

Jeremy Maclin, WR, Missouri

Pros: Great top-line speed, Maclin explodes off the line, and he can blow by most decent corners. Adds an extra level to Jacksonville’s punt and kick return games. Good jumper, he can pull some balls down in the end zone.

Cons: Missouri played a spread that didn’t really teach him anything about playing in the NFL. He’s a lot like Ted Ginn in that he’s a great, fast return guy, but he’s going to be major project at receiver, and he will never work as a slot/blocking guy.

Jacksonville is desperate for a game changing wide receiver. The Matt Jones experiment is looking at prison time, and the Troy Williamson trade was a bust. Maclin’s probably the biggest playmaker on the board, but like with Ginn a few years ago, it’s too high a spot to draft a career return guy who is going to take years to mold into anything resembling an NFL receiver.

9 Green Bay Packers

Tyson Jackson, DE, LSU

Pros: Good edge rushing ability, but he has the strength to engage defenders on the line. Great technique, so he can shed blocks easily playing the run. Surprisingly athletic for a guy hovering around 300lbs.

Cons: Has a bit of trouble keeping up with plays moving sideline to sideline. While he causes havoc in the backfield, he’s not going to be a sacks guy in the NFL.

Green Bay is going to have to completely overhaul their defensive line to suite their new 3-4 scheme. Jackson’s going to be the best 3-4 DE left on the board by the time they pick, and he’s got the physical tools to succeed in the role. It’s not a flashy pick, and he’s not going to be a stats guy, but he should be able to do what they need him to do.

10. San Fransisco 49ers

Mark Sanchez, QB, USC

Pros: The most accurate passer in the draft this year. Smart leader who consistently put USC in position to win games. Adapted better to USC’s pro-style offense than Matt Leinart or John David Booty, so probably closer to a Carson Palmer.

Cons: Does not have NFL-ready arm strength, which is an overrated stat, but he’s not going to be able to hit guys in double coverage downfield. Only one year as a college starter, and he seems to have a higher opinion of himself than his play really warranted.

Like Detroit, San Fransisco needs a public face to rebuild around, and California native Mark Sanchez seems like the perfect guy to do it. I’m not sold on Sanchez as an NFL guy. He looked great at USC last year, but we don’t really have much of a sample to draw from there. Unless he gets some serious help, I don’t think he’ll pan out any better than Alex Smith has.

11. Buffalo Bills

Michael Oher, OT, Mississippi

Pros: Probably the best pass protector in the draft. Has a fantastic understanding of hand work and body positioning to push quicker DEs out of their moves and out of the play. Plays quick and strong and shouldn’t have any trouble dealing with NFL calibur DEs.

Cons: Has a tendency to over think and over exert himself on plays, leading to him losing blitzers or committing stupid penalties. Not the best run blocker, because he sometimes never gets to that second level to engage LBs.

Having lost both their starting tackles to free agency and trade, Buffalo is going to be desperate for help there in the draft. While they can probably wait and still get a decent tackle with the 28^th pick, a talent like Oher is going to be too hard to pass up. He’s got the ability to step in and start from Week One, which is exactly what they need.

12. Denver Broncos

B.J. Rahi, DT Boston College

Pros: Mountain of a man who eats up a lot of space at the line. Faster than you’d think, and he has the quickness and technique to shed blocks and move up field. Prototypical NFL-style nose tackle, who is capable of eating up multiple blockers every play.

Cons: His speed is all straight line, with pretty much no lateral movement. Once you get past him, he’s not going to make the play. Not particularly versatile, he’s a great people mover, but not much else.

If Denver is serious about making a 3-4 work, they need two things, one or two more solid linebackers and a true nose tackle. Raji would more than fill one of those needs. In a 3-4, all you really need your NT to do is push blockers around and swallow up as many as possible, which plays to Raji’s biggest strengths. Could be a steal this late.

13. Washington Redskins

Everette Brown, DE, Florida State

Pros: Fantastic explosion on the line, and shocking strength. A few plays a game he will just blow past a good offensive lineman. Very coachable, he doesn’t rely on his physical talents to succeed, but techniques and intelligence. Never gives up on a play, he has no problems making lateral pursuit.

Cons: As strong as he is, at 250lbs he’s never going to be a pure DE in the NFL. He’ll get mauled by larger, stronger linemen. He’s also never really shown any ability to cover, so transitioning him to linebacker automatically makes him a project instead of a sure starter.

The Redskins have Albert Haynesworth, but they need an elite rushing end to really make any impact with their line. Brown will be great in a Jason Taylor LB/DE hybrid role, where he’s not asked to cover too much, but he can shoot threw the gaps that Haynesworth will be creating without having to go one-on-one with an offensive lineman.

14. New Orleans Saints

Malcolm Jenkins, CB, Ohio State

Pros: Has elite-level speed which will allow him to keep up with most NFL receivers. Better than average in coverage, diagnoses most routes cleanly and efficiently. At 6’1”, he’s not going to be a pushover in jump ball situations. Can play Safety as well, if necessary.

Cons: Poor tackler, he makes an initial hit and never really wraps up, a problem when you have to face Steve Smith twice a year. While he’s usually great in man coverage, he didn’t play against too many complicated offensive schemes in the Big Ten.

The Saints defense was laughable at times last year, and while the temptation probably exists to pick up a linebacker or running back here, the secondary is the area that needs the most immediate help. The Saints desperately need somebody they can line up with Steve Smith, Roddy White, and Antonio Bryant this season. Jenkins may be in for some trial by fire, but if he’s still on the board it’s the smart decision for New Orleans.

15. Houston Texans

Rey Maualuga, LB, USC

Pros: Flies to the ball with reckless abandon, and will make the big hit. He’s also got pretty good tackling technique, so that doesn’t go to waste. Better than average at dropping back with tight ends and backs in pass coverage. Always seems to make plays around the ball.

Cons: Poor off-season showings make you wonder about what level he’ll play at in the NFL. Attitude problem may get the best of him, especially if he rubs Roger Goodell the wrong way. Wild play style makes for some major hits, but also some spectacular misses.

With holes all over the place, Houston is free to take the best player available and hope for the best. While most experts would probably agree that Maualuga dug himself a pretty expansive hole this offseason, the fact of the matter is the guy is a playmaker, and that’s exactly what Houston needs defensively.

16. San Diego Chargers

Chris Wells, RB, Ohio State

Pros: Faster than you’d think, and he plays quicker he looks. Strong enough to punch through the line and break tackles in the box. Great on short yardage. A fine blocker on pass plays. Has the conditioning and body type to be an every down back in the NFL.

Cons: Constantly injured in college, he hasn’t shown an ability to protect his body. Could use some work running pass patterns. Nickname is “Beanie.”

Wide receiver and linebacker are more pressing issues, but the LaDanian Tomlinson issue looms larger over the Chargers. Darren Sproles is a great rusher, but he’s not going to be capable of being an every down back. Knoshown Moreno is a better overall back than Benie Wells, but Wells is a better compliment to Sproles in the Chargers backfield.

17. New York Jets

Josh Freeman, QB, Kansas State

Pros: Big, NFL-sized arm. At 6’6” and 250lbs, he’s a hard target to bring down. Has command of the huddle and good leadership ability.

Cons: Not great at reading defenses, he’ll often throw the ball where he wants it to go regardless of whether or not that area is covered. Odd throwing mechanics need to be corrected or he’ll turn out like Kellen Clemmons. Doesn’t run, he lumbers.

Kellen Clemmons is clearly not the answer, and while the 2010 Draft is going to be saturated with great QB Candidates, the Jets are not a patient team. Freeman at 17 is a huge reach, and he’s a guy that’s basically going to have to learn to play QB from scratch, but if the Jets give him time and patience he may be the answer to their QB dilemma. Or he could be the second coming of (latter day) Dante Culpepper.

18. Denver Broncos

Brian Cushing, LB, USC

Pros: One of the most natural tacklers in this year‘s draft. Good size and top line speed. Disruptive along the line of scrimmage, with his ability to read and react to the ball carrier. Solid pass coverage.

Cons: Jack of all trades but a master of none. Except for tackling, he’s not elite at any part of the normal line backing game. Tends to wear down pretty fast, and would work better as part of a rotation than as a starter until his conditioning improves.

Remember earlier when I said that Denver needed a few good linebackers? This is where they start. Honestly, they could go with either Cushing or Clay Matthews here, but Cushing fits the defensive scheme better, I think. In Denver’s defense, he’ll be able to freelance a little more, which will save him some wear and tear on his body, as well as allow him to use his coverage and play reading skills to their best ability.

19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Percy Harvin, WR, Florida

Pros: Quick off the ball with blazing speed that will beat many defenders in their backpedal. Good hands. Once he has the ball, makes the most of it with impressive YAC. Compares favorably to Steve Smith.

Cons: Compares negatively to Steve Smith, also. Seems to have a chip on his shoulder, and has had some off the field trouble. At 5’11” he’s going to get lost in traffic and blown up by linebackers. Had some injury issues at Florida, in part due to how much damage his body receives taking hits.

Tampa is still going to be searching for their quarterback of the future, but in the meantime they need to find a WR to compliment last year’s stud Antonio Bryant. Bringing in Kellen Winslow was a great start, but Harvin gives them an over the top, deep threat that will keep defenses on their heels. Florida pedigree makes him an attractive local pick as well.

20. Detroit Lions

Hakeem Nicks, WR, North Carolina

Pros: Excellent route runner, he understands the NFL passing game better than any of the other top flight receivers. Fantastic hands, he makes catches that you would never expect him to pull off. Probably the best possession receiver in the draft.

Cons: Lacks a second gear, which means that he won’t make too many big plays. Strong and feisty, but putting your body on the line in the NFL like he does will just get you hurt. Is a little too confident in his playmaking ability and will occasionally serve one up to defenders while he’s bobbling a catch.

I know what you’re thinking, another Lion’s WR draft pick? Are you nuts?! But with all the top level offensive tackles off the board, the Lions need to address the after effects of the Roy Williams trade. Calvin Johnson cannot carry the offense by himself, he needs a mid-range possession receiver to play across from him and take some pressure off the deep balls. Nicks is the perfect compliment to Johnson for the Lions, and will make life much easier for Matthew Stafford.

21. Philadelphia Eagles

Knowshon Moreno, RB, Georgia

Pros: Tremendous rushing ability both in the flat and between the tackles. Great patience cutting through his blocks, and a good second gear once he makes it through. Isn’t afraid to engage defenders, and has the ability and shiftiness to break free of a few tackles.

Cons: Needs to work on his pass catching, especially in this offense. Will be stuffed just as often as he breaks a big play. Is a liability in the passing game, both as a receiver and as a blocker.

Moreno comes into the NFL as sort of the poor man’s Adrian Peterson. He won’t be quite that explosive in Philly, but he’ll serve as a fantastic heir apparent to Brian Westbrook, whom the Eagles need to start thinking about replacing sooner rather than later. If Moreno is still there at this pick, and the Eagles think he can improve his pass catching, this will be a tremendous value pick.

22. Minnesota Vikings

Eben Britton, OT, Arizona

Pros: Keeps all his blocks in front of him and uses his size and strength to keep defenders out of the play. Has exceptionally long arms which helps him keep a defender on the move even if he gets beat. Great straight-line run blocker who will drive defenders into the second level.

Cons: Has too much faith in his physical prowess to the point where his technique has not really developed. Will get beat a few times a game by defenders that just beat him out of his stance. Not the guy you want on screens or reverses, as he’s a bit oafish in his walk.

Minnesota is desperate to replace RT Ryan Cook, so much so that it’ll be easy to overlook holes at DT, CB, WR, and QB and take the safest bet tackle left on the board. Eben Britton isn’t a great tackle, but he’s solid, and certainly a large upgrade over converted center Cook, especially if Britton is able to learn some NFL techniques.

23. New England Patriots

Clay Matthews, LB, USC

Pros: Good speed, usually has great reaction on the snap. One of the best blitzers in the draft, he’s got a good knack for finding the gaps in the offensive line before they develop. Can play inside or outside LB equally well. A fine tackler.

Cons: A bit undersized, might be a better Safety/Floater when all is said and done. Tends to get run out of plays and swallowed up if he doesn’t hit that gap that he’s looking for. Plays too aggressively at times.

The trade of Mike Vrabel opened up a spot on the Patriot’s roster for a versatile linebacker who isn’t afraid to play some special teams and roam the field a bit. Matthews is the third of the USC linebackers to come off my draft board, and the least physically gifted, but he is probably the most useful in terms of all the different things he can do, and we all know how much Bill Belichick loves utility.

24. Atlanta Falcons

Brandon Pettigrew, Tight End, Oklahoma State

Pros: Excellent blocker, he’s not afraid to get his hands dirty with the offensive line. Solid possession receiver, who usually finds the gaps in the defense and provides a good safety valve for the quarterback. Good hands, and isn’t afraid to take a hit.

Cons: He’s not likely to break any big plays in the passing game. A great run blocker, but he’ll get beat at times in pass protection. Had some injury issues in college, and for a guy who takes as many hits as Pettigrew does, that’s not good.

It may be boring, but Atlanta needs a solid blocker on their offensive line, and an extra safety valve for Matt Ryan if he can’t get the ball to Roddy White. Nobody the Falcons tried last year at TE were able to fit the bill, but Pettigrew has the ability to be that possession guy, while also helping open up holes for Michael Turner in the running game.

25. Miami Dolphins

Vontae Davis, CB, Illinois

Pros: Solid tackler, especially for a corner. Good ball tracking skills, he will usually get a good break on the ball. Understands and diagnoses routes well.

Cons: Has good speed, but will still get burned by NFL caliber receivers. Drops a lot of easy picks. Will deliver some shots, but will also whiff on a tackle or two per game.

Miami has a lot of holes to plug in their secondary, not good when you’re facing Randy Moss and T.O. twice a year. Davis isn’t necessarily an elite corner at the next level, but he’s a tough, Parcells guy who will play better than his ability in division games.

26. Baltimore Ravens

Darius Heyward-Bey, WR, Maryland

Pros: Impressive speed, will burn defenders on a handful of plays a game. Quick feet allow him to rack up great YAC. The rare burner who isn’t afraid to play the slot.

Cons: Pretty much only knows the Slant and Go patterns, which makes defending him much easier. Not afraid to make catches in traffic, but shies away from taking hits.

Bey’s 4.3/40 shot him up a lot of people’s draft charts, before they settled down and realized that he’s essentially this year’s Devin Hester/Ted Ginn. If you can get him the ball, Heyward-Bey is fantastic, but otherwise he’s just a body on the field. The Ravens need another target for Joe Flacco though, and the temptation is probably more than they’d be able to bare.

27. Indianapolis Colts

Perria Jerry, DT, Mississippi

Pros: Good off the ball movement, will sometimes beat the center and guard to his gap. Is smart enough to use his size and leg drive to split gaps and put pressure on the quarterback.

Cons: Will get pushed out of plays by faster or stronger linemen. Mostly raw ability that needs a lot of refinement to compete at the NFL level.

Indianapolis’ defensive line is on life support as the list of competent players currently reads, “Dwight Freeney…?” Perria Jerry is the best tackle still on the board, and while it will take a while before he develops into a pass rushing force in the league, he will at least provide them with an able, warm body to start on Sundays.

28. Buffalo Bills

Robert Ayers, DE, Tennessee

Pros: Good at beating the tackle off the line. Plays the run well, with solid movement across the line of scrimmage. Very fluid, natural movement when shedding blocks.

Cons: Has a tendency to overrun the play. Sometimes gets frustrated when his natural talent isn’t enough to overwhelm the blocker. Will be outrun by faster backs.

As much as they’d probably like to, Buffalo can’t justify taking a second tackle in the first round, and while they’d probably like an upgrade at tight end, there’s not much gap between the tight ends you can take here and the ones you’ll be able to get in round 4. Ayers is a guy the Bills really like, and while he’s a project, he should provide some good plays for Buffalo this year.

29. New York Giants

James Laurinaitis, LB, Ohio State

Pros: An athlete’s athlete, makes up for all his physical limitations with drive and determination. Flies to the ball. Reads and reacts to plays extremely well. Excellent tackler.

Cons: Not the most physically gifted linebacker in the draft. Will occasionally play himself out of position or misread a scheme. Is a ball hawk, but isn’t great in coverage.

The Giants will likely try to either trade up to grab one of the earlier receivers or trade this pick for Braylon Edwards. Baring that, however, they should spend their pick upgrading their line backing corps. Laurinaitis is a great developmental prospect who would be a fantastic middle linebacker for their defense in a year or two.

30. Tennessee Titans

Darius Butler, CB, Connecticut

Pros: Great special teams and defensive player. Good eyes, sees the path of the ball well and is usually in good position to make a play on it. Not afraid to get into it with a larger receiver.

Cons: Poor tackler. Probably best suited as a nickle corner in the NFL, because he’s only 5’10” 175lbs, so he’ll get steamrolled by some of the larger receivers.

The Titans can either try to replace Albert Haynesworth or Chris Carr here, and since there’s no Haynesworth type talent in the draft this year, they’re better off giving themselves a solid return man and cornerback depth than just settle for any defensive tackle in the first round.

31. Arizona Cardinals

Michael Johnson, DE, Georgia Tech

Pros: One of the best pure athletes in the draft, all Johnson’s measurables are fantastic. He’s got good speed and long, thick arms and legs which help him engage and drive linemen.

Cons: For all his physical gifts, he’s not that great a football player. He gets frustrated easily, and will sometimes give up if he gets driven out of a play. Plays way too tall for a down lineman.

The Cardinals have some flexibility with the number 31 pick, so why not just take the best pure athlete in the draft? I’m not convinced that DE is the right place for Michael Johnson, but Arizona should stake a claim on him and see what he brings to camp. There’s too much talent there to be wasted, which is why he’s suddenly climbing up everybody’s boards.

32. Pittsburgh Steelers

Aaron Maybin, DE, Penn State

Pros: Great speed, often beats linemen off the snap. Very engaging pass rusher, moves fluidly through the offensive line to the quarterback. Solid tackler.

Cons: Needs to add about 20lbs to be taken seriously as an NFL DE. Gets beat out by less talented linemen far too often. A five star talent that plays like a four star DE.

The Steelers have a ton of flexibility here. They could go to Robinskie to replace Nate Washington, or to an offensive linemen to bolster those ranks, but again, like I said with Arizona, why not take the best athlete on the board and see what you can do? Maybe is not an NFL DE, by any means, but as a James Harrison/Joey Porter-type DE/LB hybrid, he could have a stellar career. And who better to learn from than Harrison himself?

Another quick n dirty one this week, and pretty much until these start getting posted on OO again, which…checking my solar calendar is…August, 2021. So, cool. I’ve got some time.

Last Night: Say, maybe you’ve heard of this “Wrestlemania” thing? Triple H suffering through the many chinlocks of Randy Orton? The Undertaker pretty much just refusing to have a bad match with Shawn Michaels? A Million John Cenas coming out to “Word Life?” No? Uh…Ok. Well, maybe you’ll find out…TONIGHT!

(Opening Credits)

Woo! Wrestlemania! Michael Cole literally cannot WAIT to tell you exactly how many people are in the arena tonight, down to the old lady selling popcorn in aisle 17. Then, Randy Orton comes down to the ring. Anything interesting to say, Randy?

Randy Orton: It is I, Ranky Q. Morgan, Legend Kill Guy and former holster of the NCAA Girl’s Chocolatechip, and last fight at Wigglestralia, Triopoly H hit me with a sludgehammer.

Nope. Anyway, he bitches a little more about how much he hates the McMahons, despite the fact that he’s still employed there after attacking them all, and even insinuates perhaps desecrating the corpse of Linda McMahon or punting Aurora Borealis. That’s enough to bring out Vince, because you just don’t talk about Aurora Borealis like that. Maybe Vince will offer to trade Randy to TNA for picks. Worked for Jay Cutler, right? Orton ends up challenging Vince to a match, which would’ve made that Cutler feud awesome actually. Vince makes a six man tag match for Backlash with the McMahons (including Hunter) vs. The Lemony, and agrees to the match tonight.

(ads)

The Miz and John Morrison vs. The Brothers Colon
In a Lumberjack Match for the WWE Unified Tag Team Titles

Carlito and Primo won? Really? Really guys? The Lumberjacks are the Rest of the Roster which includes about thirty people I don’t know and Tommy Dreamer. Thanks for coming out tonight, Tommy! I also see the grizzled beard of Mike Knox out there, so there’s that. Isn’t this his first appearance in, like, ten years? Remember back in February when he was main eventing? Yeah, me neither. Morrison gets tossed, and everybody beats him up. They live for these little moments.

(ads)

So, is Ricky Ortiz one of the Colons? I’m just asking. The world owes me a coke for having to put up with this match. I may be the only person in the world, by the way, who thinks unified tag team titles are a horrible, horrible idea. Unified titles of any sort, really. There’s already nothing for the guys on the undercard to do. Speaking of which, is that The Hurricane. Wow. Thanks for coming out tonight, Suga Shane. Morrison attacks the lumberjacks for absolutely no reason with a billion backflips. Cool. Stupid, but cool. Carlito hits the Backstabber for the win, much to the delight of Mike Knox and Goldust for some reason. I can only believe they bet money on this match. Isn’t it the time of year for Carlito to threaten to quit again? Whatever. Tommy Dreamer is just happy to be out here tonight.

Backstage, Vince and Shane argue about how frigging stupid it is for a ninety year old man to be fighting the guy that just nearly killed him a couple weeks ago. Vince isn’t buying it because he’s taken way more roids than anybody.

(ads)

Jillian Hall, Layla El, Kelly Kelly Kelly, Alexis Laree and Melina vs. Eve Torres, Natalya Neidhart, Gail Kim, Maria (nee Punk Tennyson Lund Caribbean Cool Marella), and Maryse

See, now they’re not even trying. Even Michael Cole is like, “These girls don’t even like each other!” Gail Kim is wearing half of a French Maid costume, which is an interesting choice. This is even more demeaning than having the women’s match from Mania specifically put over Kid Rock and Santino, because Cole is spending the whole thing plugging brand loyalty and the draft, and Lawler’s staring at Maria’s ass. But I really, really just don’t care. Alexis DDTs Natalya for the win.

Backstage, Shane and HHH are hugging, because that’s what bros do when it’s all the sudden revealed that they’re bros. Shane asks Hunter to try to reason with Vince, which is funny because they hate each other. Right?

(ads)

This is…yeah.

(ads)

Rey Misterio, Jeff Hardy, CM Punk, Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat and John Cena vs. .Kane, Chris Jericho, The Big Show, Matt Hardy, and Edge

I am not recapping ten minutes of advertisements. So they’ll bitch about the Divas getting along for an hour, but Matt Hardy teaming with Edge? No problem! You know, I saw Mania, and I completely forgot that Rey had even won a title. The crowd is essentially not even paying attention to any of this, but to salivate over the possibility of seeing Ricky Steamboat. He tags in and things get Crazy Go Nuts. Dude’s old, though. Actually, this kind of reminds me of Flair the last couple years. Finally, Big Show steps in and puts the clamps down, but when Jericho tags in to finish him off, Steamboat tags out. That kind of deflated the crowd.

(ads)

Seriously, though, this might be the most over anybody’s been in years. So, with no reason to talk about brand loyalty, this gives Cole a perfect opportunity to talk about how any of these guys could appear on any show! As if that were any different than usual! It’s honestly kind of making me miss the total brand split! Rey and Steamboat hit dueling cross bodies, and Ricky bails to let Rey get the pin. After the match, everybody’s too busy watching Steamboat celebrate to notice Punk making moon eyes at Cena’s title. Everybody, that is, except Jerry Lawler (?!) who has to sit down and explain why Punk is doing that to Cole. Somebody should probably explain it to Cena too.

Triple H is backstage. He asks Vince if he’ll reconsider fighting Orton. Vince says, “No.” So, Hunter takes a nap.

(ads)

Vickie Guerrero and Chavo come out on stage. Vickie says that she’s decided to stay on as RAW General Manager, to be closer to her true love (John Cena) and because nobody watches Smackdown. She says that she’s ready to help out the stagnant and boring RAW, which makes her at least as good at this as Mike Adamle. Her first order of business? Turning the McMahons/Lemony match into a title match. If the McMahons win, Hunter keeps the title. If the Lemony wins, Orton gets the belt. Yes. Because you know what would shake up RAW? If it was booked like TNA. After about ten minutes, Vickie comes out and says “Excuse me!” She’s quite the promo cutter, folks.

Backstage, Orton, DiBiase, and Rhodes are eating pickles.

(ads)

Youuuuuuu Look Soooooo Good to Me! If there’s one good thing about putting Santino in drag, it’s bringing back the Billy and Chuck theme. Some where, Rico Constantino is shedding a single tear. Santina is easily as over as Ricky Steamboat. If there’s a second good thing about putting Santino in drag, it’s that he’s pretty hilarious. Beth Phoenix and Rosa Mendez storm out and demand that Santino stop being such an idiot. Hey! It’s an alternative lifestyle, bitch! Don’t judge him! WWE RAW Referee John Cone comes out, so I guess we’re having a match.

(ads)

Santina Marella vs. Beth Phoenix (w/ Rosa Mendez)

Surely Beth can beat Santino. In drag or not. Here’s a “WWE.com” exclusive of Santina dancing around during the ad break. That was…not really exclusive to WWE.com. Unless I’m watching this show on WWE.com right now? Holy crap. Am I? This is an existential crisis that will alter my life forever. Kind of like seeing Santino in drag. He wins with a roll-up.

Backstage, Vince is looking for his walker.

(ads)

Randy Orton vs. Vince McMahon

Vince gets the better of Orton from the start, which is…ridiculous. Really. Like, I guess Hunter beat up Orton pretty good last night, but still, Vince is…well…Vince. Anyway, Orton takes control after a few minutes, and Vince falls over. Well, that’s Vince McMahon for you. Orton’s about to kick Vince in the head again, but Shane makes the save. I do think it’s funny that the whole roster is here tonight, but nobody else wants to bother saving Vince. Think of the bonus you could’ve earned, Great Khali! The Lemony pulls Shane away, but by that time, Hunter has hit the ring. Pretty soon, however, Orton and his Lemons are able to waylay Hunter. Who’s left in the locker room that doesn’t absolutely hate these guys? R-Truth maybe? Nope, it’s “Dave” Batista “Davidson!” Of Course! And The Tista hasn’t missed any meals, it seems. Anyway, Dave storms the ring, and Orton and DiBiase bail. Cody Rhodes, however, is too entranced the all that is “The Animal.” OSPREY BOMB TO RHODES~! Orton does not look pleased. Oh come on, man. It was just Cody.

Vince McMahon: You’re right, Randy! I’m not going to make it to Backlash! I’m getting my nails done that day. Can’t miss the appointment, they charge you for that. But you know who will be there? “Dave” Batista “Davidson!”

“Dave” Batista “Davidson”: I bought a TICKET!

Next Week: Batista’s reign of terror continues when he tears his hamstring looking at Randy Orton funny. Plus, Shawn Michaels returns to RAW, sees Santina Marella and promptly leaves again. And also…Some sort of “Draft.” Whatever that is.

Like I did when I heard TellTale had gotten the rights to do a Strong Bad game, I took the news of the Wallace and Gromit games with some trepidation. On one hand, TellTale has basically become *the adventure company* (with all due respect and apologies to The Adventure Company), and I trust their talented and friendly staff empirically. On the other hand, as much as I like the films, Wallace and Gromit doesn’t exactly scream “Adventure Game” to me.

The story finds intrepid inventor Wallace attempting to build a business piping honey to his neighbors for a small fee, and to help pay back a debt to a local grocer whose store he inadvertently destroyed. To help produce the necessary honey, Wallace comes up with a process to supersize the bee’s pollen intake, and accidentally sets off a course of actions which ends with the bees seizing control of the town, while his faithful dog Gromit looks on with a frown.

And therein lies the problems I found myself having with “Fright of the Bumble Bees.” Throughout the game, it doesn’t seem like very much is actually happening. For long stretches you play as Gromit, and while I appreciate the effort piled into making his face tremendously expressive, the truth is that without context sensitive dialog or reparte with the other characters, his sequences come off a bit stolid. Even Wallace’s portions are a bit ponderous, which was probably a conscious design choice, but it just never feels like the plot picks up any steam, and as a result when the climax finally does happen, it feels very artificial.

It’s worth noting that this is the first TellTale game that will be offered on the XBox Live Marketplace, and as such they’re experimenting with a game pad control scheme. Like a sort of Grim Fandango-hybrid, you control Wallace or Gromit with your keyboard or gamepad and use your mouse or buttons to examine/perform actions on hotspots throughout the locations. It’s still a little clumsy on PC, but it’s surprisingly comfortable with the X-Box controller.

Extra Features:

Only a preview of the next episode is included. There’s a shooting gallery mini-game towards the end of the episode that can be played as much as you’d like, but you’ll have seen all the jokes in it within the few minutes you *have* to play it. Other than that, the lack of real “Bonus” material is a little disappointing.

Technical:

The review copy of the game was surprisingly buggy, with a number of collision errors and an occasionally unresponsive cursor. There were also a few audio glitches, and the game seemed to have trouble syncing the audio track with the game at points. The most glaring example of this is during a scene in the police station. If you fail the puzzle, Wallace does a little internal monologing about why your solution didn’t work, but before he’s finished talking, the game has already started looping the officer’s dialog over it, so you don’t really get to hear the “hints” the game is offering.

I should note that TellTale has been remarkable about patching these things in the final release version of the game, so you may never experience these problems.

Graphics:

I’m very impressed at how well the team has translated the claymation characters into the digital game world. They’re much more impressively done than the oddly blocky Homestar Runner characters. The level of minor details for each of the characters is very impressive, and true to the films.

There are only a handful of locations to visit in “Fright of the Bumblebees,” and they are actually a little spartan, but that fits in well with the nature of the Wallace and Gromit universe, much as it did with the Homestar Runner rooms. But for those gamers interested in the exploration aspects of these types of games, there’s really not much here to see.

Sound:

It’s interesting, because the voices are very well done. The voice actors are all pros and handle their characters very well, but Wallace and Gromit fans will be disappointed to know that Peter Sallis does not reprise his role as Wallace here. The “sound-alike” actor that they got is quite good, really, but his inflections and cadence are a bit off, noticeably so in some cases. You can’t really blame anyone for this, but it’s still a bit odd to have somebody else voicing the character.

The songs are entirely ambient in all but a few key cases, but well done. For all I know they could’ve been ripped straight from the movies. In the one case where the music actually plays a role in the game play, it’s actually oddly bland, considering how fantastic the music from Sam and Max was, I know TellTale has great in-house music development, so it’s kind of an odd choice of songs.

Replay Value:

Pretty much none. There are a few widgits and whatnots you might miss on your first playthrough (don’t miss Wallace’s reaction when you tell him to wake himself up, it’s the one legitimate laugh out loud line in the game), but you won’t really be *missing* anything by not picking it up a second time.

Final Score: 6/10

TellTale has a history of taking a few games to fully grasp the universe of a game before they really start producing great content. In this case, I think they fully grasped what makes Wallace and Gromit tick, and the result was a pleasant, sort of boring, forgettable game. I tried very hard to accept the games’ sense of its own whimsy at face value, but it got a little hard to do as the game started to build to the end.

There’s something here I can’t quite put my finger on, and I’m still genuinely excited to see what Tell-Tale can do with the franchise, but I’m almost certain that the series really needs to go one of two ways. Either have the player constantly control either Wallace or Gromit so that Wallace can always provide the contextual quips and narration, giving Gromit something meaningful to react to, or make it a series of “Island of Doctor Brian”/”Professor Layton’s Curious Village”/”Incredible Machine” hybrid, which matches more close the gaming concepts contained in the Wallace and Gromit universe.

For every genuinely interesting or amusing puzzle that you’re faced with, there’s some weird, laborious extra hurdle jump which stalls out the plot, making the experience a bit like treading in pudding. You know that, at its heart, pudding has nothing against you and is delicious, but eventually you’re going to get tired and it’s going to kill you.

If you’re interested in taking a look at the game, you can download a copy of the PC Demo at the TellTale Website.

So, Hugh Jackman hosted the Oscars this year, and while I thought he did a pretty good job, I have to admit that there was something about this year’s telecast that I didn’t really care for. Show stopping musical numbers. There were TWO! What the hell guys? I know Hugh loves him some musicals, but this isn’t the Tonys.

The first one was amusing at least, with Anne Hathaway playing an unwilling Richard Nixon, and Jackman admitting that he has no clue what The Reader is even about, all while taking little digs at the Academy.

He’s no John Stewart, but here’s Hugh Jackman being cute.